anxiety: a public memoir

Moms4Housing

“Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you,” the fact that in any sustainable future we would need to have composting toilets, the fact that people aren’t willing to give up their comforts, the fact that I’m not willing to give up all of my comforts, but I also live in a van, “Deep Adaptation: A Map for Navigating Climate Tragedy”, the fact that someone told me that someone wrote an article about how living in a van actually doesn’t have a smaller footprint, the fact that I believe it, the fact that Kevin says that we could actually generate electricity from our urine, The no-flush movement: the unexpected rise of the composting toilet, the fact that being sustainable takes intentionality, time, and energy, attention economy, Our Town, “we like the sun comin’ up over the mountain in the morning, and we all notice a good deal about the birds, we pay a lot of attention to them”, I.C.E., the fact that i’m so tired, transportation, transition, Mr. Robot, Things It Would Have Been Helpful to Know Before the Revolution, r/collapse, government-funded campaigns to address toxic masculinity, racism, homophobia, public service jobs providing education about dismantling white supremacy, teachers, co-optation, destroying the patriarchy, eating the rich, rejecting the binary, The Struggles of Rejecting the Gender Binary, Gender is not a spectrum, Confessions of a Social Constructionist, Jordan Peterson's Bullshit, alternative money systems, bitcoin, tech bros, decentralization, taxation, waste, the fact that California, and specifically Berkeley, has a reputation of sustainability but we contribute to landfills like everyone else, maybe less so, but still, “Since 2000, the amount of solid waste sent to landfills from the Berkeley community dropped by approximately 50%, from 112,498 tons in 2000 to 56,189 tons in 2013” (source), “Berkeley currently sends about 68,000 tons of material to the landfill” (source), the fact that the first report said 56,189 tons in 2013 and the second article said 68,000 tons and was published in 2018, the fact that “Californians throw away 6 pounds of trash every day, equivalent to almost 2200 pounds every year, roughly the weight of a subcompact car” (source), pounds of trash per day, PPD, zero waste, plastic straws, beauty products, food, nationalization of food, nationalization of oil, eminent domain, nationalization of technology, Wi-Fi and cell phones, municipally owned utilities, the fact that we could all collectively own everything, The Cheese Board Collective, the fact that Lucy works at Cheese Board, the fact that I developed a lactose intolerance over the summer, municipal broadband, Municipal Broadband Is Roadblocked Or Outlawed In 25 States, City Wifi: Fast, Cheap, and No You Can’t Have It, 19 more Colorado cities and counties vote in favor of city-owned internet, while Fort Collins approves $150 million to move forward, public transportation, communal housing, communal parties, food orgy, communal meals, the right to reuse, repairing, the Berkeley tool lending library, the right to refuse, consent, repairing, no cars, Ecotopia, “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” By Car Seat Headrest, ♫ There's no comfort in responsibility / Drunk drivers, drunk drivers / It doesn't have to be like this / It doesn't have to be like this / It doesn't have to be like this ♫ , ♫ This is not a good thing / I don't mean to rationalize / Or try and explain it away ♫ , Blackfish, animal cruelty, the fact that Mothers Against Drunk Driving have consistently opposed legislation to lower the drinking age, To Reduce Binge Drinking, Lower the Drinking Age, 123 College Presidents Sign Initiative to Lower Legal Drinking Age, Group Opposes, College Presidents Urge Rethink On Drinking Age, Students for Sensible Drug Policy, SSDP, MADD, mad, Mad Magazine, Mad Men, Mad Max, energy consumption, using less light, less heating, the fact that living in a van really makes me think about everything I'm using as finite, solar panels, externalities, the fact that Geoffrey Miller writes in Spent that:

All negative externalities are, by definition, encroachments on other people’s lives and property. So, even hard-core libertarians who believe that governments should do nothing more than protect people from such encroachments should be willing to accept a consumption tax specifically designed to counteract such encroachments. From this viewpoint, the consumption tax is not paternalistic meddling. Rather, it is a classical “Pigovian tax” designed to correct the negative externalities of market activity. … From that perspective, it seems reasonable that governments should impose consumption taxes designed to neutralize each product type’s externalities. In other words, we should be free to choose what we buy and how we live, as long as we pay the fair price for every harm we do to others in the process,

the fact that people don't consider the energy requirements of video games or television or their Keurig, they just pay their utility bill, the fact that my battery runs out sometimes and my food spoils, fashion, fast fashion, clothes, minimalism, Wild Wild Country, robes, dressing for comfort but also for fashion, O.D.D., LLC®, “Clothes are a language; can you read? 'No' is OK. It's rhetorical; everybody speaks clothes — everybody, homelessness, #Moms4Housing, privilege, perspective, insensitive, New Age, Bohemianism, San Francisco, New York, Paris, Pride has sold its soul to rainbow-branded capitalism,