the fact that I still don't know what it means to be genderqueer, What Is It Like to Be Non-Binary? I’m Still Finding Out., Help! I Think I Might Be Non-Binary, But How Can I Know?, How to Know If You’re Non-Binary, transgender teen survival guide non-binary flowchart,

nonbinary flow chart

the fact that masculinity feels really limiting, the fact that I feel limited in what I can be as a man, the fact that I still feel like a man sometimes, the fact that I don't want to abdicate myself of the responsibility of attending to male privilege or toxic masculinity, the fact that I do feel concern around my safety sometimes, the fact that whether or not that concern is based on real danger i do not know, the fact that I do feel discomfort around family, hometown, and old friends, they/them, the fact that sometimes i don't feel seen or understood, the fact that people have yelled slurs at me, the fact that some things that may seem like a choice don’t feel like a choice because they're a genuine expression of me, style, art, fashion, hair, earrings, dresses, skirts, the fact that gender queerness to me is far more than outward portrayals like fashion, the fact that gender queerness has helped me understand my experience of the limitations and problems of masculinity, the fact that genderqueerness feels like a genuine expression of my felt distance from masculiniy, the fact that i don’t mean to abdicate myself from the responsiblity of attending to masucline privilege, the fact that I am not exploring genderquerness to escape the vilification of my masculinity but rather to be seen and exist outside of it, the fact that i live outside of it, the fact that my experience exists outside of it, the fact that i want to be held accountable while also perceived outside the confines of expected masculine behavior, the fact that this article titled How To Make Your Marriage Gayer really made me feel validated in my genderqueerness because i identify with many of the roles and characteristics attributed to gay men and women, self fulfilling prophecy, I am who I am perceived to be, social psych, highly variable personality, Buddhist non-self, the fact that i've felt really uncomfortable in my body, the fact that sometimes during sex i feel like my body is being used, the fact that i often feel pressured into sex, the fact that i feel like my body is controlled and surveilled, sometimes by partners, the fact that im not sure how this feeling interacts with narratives around problematic cis men pursuing polyamory, the fact that (insert name) said that my awareness of these issues suggests im not the problematic trope, the fact that it matters the gender of who said that, she/her, the fact that this certainly doesnt mean i don't exhibit problematic masculine behaviors or thoughts, queer lite, internalized queer gatekeeping, the fact that i feel gender dysphoria but i dont want to transition to anything else, the fact that both he/him and they/them pronouns make me feel uncomfortable, the fact that misgendering feels binary (they/them OR he/him) and too blamey (for me, i recognize my experience isn’t everyone’s) and conveys a false certainty, the fact that i definitely don’t identify as a woman, the fact that they/them feels more right and felt great for awhile but now it feels like i have to justify or prove my queerness, projection, the fact that every expression of masculinity feels like it invalidates my experiences of genderqueerness, the fact that many close friends and loved ones in my life validate my gender, the fact that they say i don’t feel like a man, the fact that many expressions of masculinity in the bay area fall firmly outside the boundaries of male-identification in tampa where i’ve spent most of my life, the fact that its difficult to reconcile my experience in the bay area with my experience growing up in florida, paradox of queerness, the fact that whatever i want to do is not questioned and comfortable but i feel like i have to be more queer in order to be queer in the bay, queer lite, the fact that for me physical embodiment feels masculine, the fact that my sexuality feels more clear than my gender because gender feels quite contingent upon external validation, perception, reaction, judgment, the fact that i dont feel body dysphoria but i definitely dont feel body euphoria when it comes to my genitalia, the fact that mostly i feel genital ambivalence, the fact that i feel a lack of ownership over what my body is, circumcision, the fact that i didnt choose my birth sex, the fact that i feel a lack of ownership over how my body is perceived, over what it means, “I'm a citizen of the universe”: Gloria Anzaldúa's Spiritual Activism as Catalyst for Social Change, “big max energy,” naked and afraid, ripped and afraid, toxic masculinity, appropriation, 'You Don't Own Me,' A Feminist Anthem With Civil Rights Roots, Is All About Empathy,

You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys You don't own me Don't say I can't go with other boys And don't tell me what to do Don't tell me what to say And please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display 'cause You don't own me Don't try to change me in any way You don't own me Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay I don't tell you what to say I don't tell you what to do So just let me be myself That's all I ask of you I'm young and I love to be young I'm free and I love to be free To live my life the way I want To say and do whatever I please ♫,

Men, emotional sensitivity, taking up space, emotional labor, communication, self-awareness, growth, mutual gaslighting, white femme victim narratives,

bad leftist male behavior bingo

The Ethical Slut, How a hackneyed romantic ideal is used to stigmatise polyamory, TRIGGER WARNING The Self-crucifixion of the Persecuted Polyamorist, Chastity Belt – Seattle Party

If you dance if you dance No girl will give you a chance You're a cool guy ♫,

What's the Difference Between Non-Binary, Genderqueer, and Gender-Nonconforming?, Beyond Androgyny: Nonbinary Teenage Fashion, 100 Ways to Make the World Better for Non-Binary People, The Gender Spectrum Collection: Stock Photos Beyond the Binary, Heterosexuality and its discontents, Heterosexuality Without Women, the fact that self-love isn't an antidote to anxiety, the fact that self-love isn't inherently navel-gazing, the fact that 'self-love' can be a barrier to self critique, self-love as spiritual bypassing, self-love as spiritual growth, the fact that self-love repositions the ego in social justice work, the fact that I am not the fix nor the problem, the fact that I can be a part of the fix or the problem, and the problem, the fact that I am the center of the world, self worth and independence vs. feeling grounded / connected / lost / aimless, changing relationships, the triangular theory of love, polyamory, intimacy, commitment, romantic attraction, passionate love, companionate love, intimacy, commitment, investment, New Relationship Energy, honeymoon stage, compersion, jealousy, dependency vs. emotional support, codependency, the fact that I can be really independent and still find being in a relationship really gratifying because it activates certain parts of me that are always there but that I need to be reminded of, the fact that being with someone else can make me feel like those parts of me are more possible to access, the fact that a partner can give my personhood a context, the fact that my personhood exists without them but that it can feel like it exists floating in space, in a vacuum, especially in this world, that this can feel positive and negative, disorienting and liberating, ♫ “Everyday” ♫ by Weyes Blood, ♫ “Movies” ♫ by Weyes Blood, ♫ “Andromeda” ♫ by Weyes Blood, disorientation, the fact that fighting with someone makes you feel closer, the fact that toxicity can create attachment and meaning, the fact that this incredibly fucked up, post-grad disorientation, daily structure of life, checking your phone for a message, choosing to be in a relationship despite abuse creates an illusion of meaning, the fact that you may have convinced yourself the relationship is worth abuse and therefore must be a really important and meaningful relationship, 'healthy' relationships, A Happy-ish Marriage, filling the post grad void with codependency, the fact that the path of least resistance can be excruciating, mid life crisis, white picket fence, marriage, suburbia, figuring out what i want in life, independence, what is my life going to look like, codependence as a regression of independence, the fact that my friend klara wrote an article with accompanying chart titled “Unmascing Pt. I: The Comprehensive Vassar Boys Chart”,

vassar boys chart

amab, afab, Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein, Can Masculinity Be Redeemed?, incessant self-critique, spiritual bypassing, talk the talk, genderqueerness as an attempt to erase gender differences, colorblindness, genderqueerness as a liberatory project, I am a citizen of the universe, the fact that im curious: can you feel sorry without feeling bad? regret without negative affect, is that possible? the fact that if no, then is the desire for an apology an expressed need for someone to feel bad, punishment, carceral thinking, the fact that my friend Bett Williams wrote, “feeling bad about yourself is an ego trip and a waste of time,” the fact that non-binary thinking allows for space of exploring people's identity beyond gender, the fact that so consistently i've felt that gender has been a totalizing lense, the fact that i don't want to underemphasize or ignore gender, but rather have felt that gendered lenses can result in a lack of holding interpersonal realities of aggression, and reduced people's responsibility of developing self-awareness and communication skills, conflict resolution, the fact that gendered lenses can be an easy way out, dumping things on gender, the fact that on the one hand hand i see myself as “queer-lite” and don't want to take up too much space in queer spaces, the fact that on the other hand i remove my earrings (usually dangly) when i stop at gas stations outside of urban areas and want to validate my queerness so at the very least i can be aware of it and its implications for my physical safety and emotional wellbeing, am I queer enough, gatekeeping, the fact that my friend/co-worker Mel had a very inclusive definition of queerness which was “questioning and exploring sexualiy and/or gender,” the fact that I've had a really masc cis straight friend question whether or not I thought i appropriated queerness (particularly in fashion or sometimes speech), the fact that i've also had a really queer lesbian friend tell me I'm not queer but rather “non-normative/deviant sexuality and gender,” the fact that sometimes I think masc person having sex with femme people = not queer, the fact that this is very binary thinking though, is there a queer aesthetic? can it be appropriated, the fact that my cis friend (not really friend) was really judgmental of me wearing a crop-top, the fact that i'm not sure what is appropriation vs. gender expression, queer-lite, the fact that i've had sex with non-binary people and by not identifying as queer that can also be considered an affront to their identities, relinquishing the patriarchy