the fact that I watch too much TV, the fact that I listed TV on a list of things that prevent me from living the life that I want to live, self-help, Maniac, Father John Misty, ♫ Total Entertainment Forever ♫, the fact that Randy gave me a book titled The Unreality Industry: The Deliberate Manufacturing of Falsehood about TV as distraction but I haven't read it yet, ♫ Things It Would Have Been Helpful to Know Before the Revolution ♫, Barbara Kruger, I shop therefore I am, Danny Brown, ♫ Best Life ♫, Legion, 7 MIndf*ck TV Shows Every Guy Should See, 14 Mindfuck TV Shows That Are Guaranteed To Mess With Your Weekend Vibe, “psychedelic experiences don't just have to come from consuming fungus or injecting nutmeg, they can also be triggered by the visual experiences available to us today,” psychedelic experiences as apolitical, What is Acid Corbynism?, Corbyn, Sanders, and Warren: The Bogus Comparison, How the Cool Kids of the Left Turned on Elizabeth Warren, the fact that Trump being elected was like something out of a dystopian fiction novel, the fact that I don’t mean to say that it was surprising, the fact that dystopia is real and so is white supremacy, the fact that we live in a dystopia and most people don’t think that we do, 17 Mindfuck TV Shows That'll Make You Question the Fabric of Reality, Twin Peaks, Black Mirror, “Black Museum,” Janelle Monáe, Sense8, Altered Carbon, Wilfred, Russian Doll; Love, Death & Robots; The OA, Westworld, Mr. Robot, Lost, The Leftovers, Damon Lindelof, Watchmen, the fact that David recommended that I watch Watchmen, the fact that Tika and David said that if you want to work in TV you really have to commit your professional life to that goal, the fact that David and I bonded over watching The Leftovers together, the fact that Tika asked us what our favorite memories were together, the fact that I said watching The Leftovers together, but the fact that that question reminds me of when Luke (construction Luke, who I worked with alongside Kevin briefly for their living roof business) asked me what I did for fun and I didn’t know what to say, the fact that really my favorite memories of my friendship with David are the everyday stuff, conversation, laughter, support, intimacy and vulnerability, growth, nothing special or remarkable in the typical sense of a certain occasion or event or trip, but certainly special and remarkable to me, the fact that Damon Lindelof said that the success of The Leftovers sent him spiralling into depression (source), the fact that TV seems like a truly powerful and unique and rewarding and fulfilling and energizing environment to engage in one's creativity collaboratively and for a mass audience while also getting paid handsomely for it, the fact that I want a creative outlet for my experience, for grappling with the dystopia we live in, expressive arts therapy, Sharon, Farhana, CIIS, psychedelics, escape, Brave New World, the fact that for Nicole Kassel working on Watchmen was a creative outlet for living in Trump’s America; Ducks, Newburyport; “working on Watchmen in the current political climate, ‘I felt this other relief as an artist,’ Kassell said, ‘Like everyone else, I was reeling since the election. What can I do? How can I respond? When I read this I was like, This is it. This is where I can put that energy.’ There’s a palpable sense of relief in her voice as she talks about how the show is not only liberating for an artist Hollywood put on the shelf too soon, but for a human worn out from living in Trump’s America” (Vanity Fair), the fact that Trump ordered the assassination of General Suleimani, the fact that Suleimani was killed by drone strike, the fact that this could turn into a global conflict, the fact that @SpookyAnarchist claimed that this event will not spark WWIII and called out people (see Americans) for not acknowledging the Iranian lives that will be lost as a result of this needless war, global nuclear war, mutually assured destruction, weapons of mass destruction, Fallout 3, Fallout 4, Fallout: New Vegas, Watchmen, Open World RPGs, The Witcher 3, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Red Dead Redemption, Red Dead Redemption 2, Cyberpunk 2077, Grand Theft Auto V, The 25 Best Open World Games To Play Right Now and Completely Forget Real Life Exists, Naming the Appeal of Fantasy Worlds, escape, engagement, binge watching, conversation, reddit, theories, explanations, fans, ♫ The Real World ♫ by Drugdealer ft. Sheer Agony, psychedelics, fantasy, dystopia, the fact that i said smartphones take us away from the moment and then and i think it was Devon who showed me the photo about how people said that about newspapers when they first came out, Vintage Photographs of People Reading Newspapers Before the Invention of That Grossly Antisocial Device: The Smartphone, Stop Sharing This Photo of Antisocial Newspaper Readers, Social Interaction Is Critical for Mental and Physical Health, the fact that Sarah says I'm really consistent in my appreciation of television, the fact that she's certainly not wrong, mindfuck as creative taste, “the last great hidden frontier, Mindlantis,” Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents, My Name is Chellis and I'm in Recovery from Western Civilization, the reductionism of psychological and biological approaches to the mind/brain, “honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired,” laughter, tears, doubt, synth music, dancing, the lost city of childhood and play and freedom, the fact that as we grow older we lose play in our lives, the fact that psychedelics can help foster experiences of play by creating neural pathways that mimic the brain of a child, Netflix's 'Maniac' Is a Hallucinatory, Emotional Dream Machine, 'Maniac' Nails What It's Like Living with Mental Illness, Maniac Is a Strange, Hyperkinetic Ode to Connection, the fact that Maniac touches upon the reductionism of psychiatry and biomedicine as well as the emptiness of pop psychology and self-help, the fact that I think I'm more interested in teaching, writing, and creating as methods of expression, outlet, and community-building than I am in pursuing a formal career in psychotherapy, A Contemporary Representation of Reality: the Hysterical Realist Novel, Ducks, Newburyport, Tell me how does it feel?, “a pursuit of vitality at all costs,” This is how it feels to me,

hypothesis: all souls are on a quest to connect, corollary: our minds have no awareness of this quest, hypothesis: all the worlds that almost were matter just as much as the world we're in, corollary: these hidden worlds cause us great pain, camaraderie, communion, family, friendship, love, what have you, we're lost without connection, it's quite terrible to be alone, put simply, my goal is to eradicate all unnecessary and inefficient forms of human pain. forever. we must evolve past our suffering ... my research into this matter is, of course, ongoing,

Industrial Workers of the World, “Workers of the world, unite!”, Medicalizing Society, Why Bernie Sanders Is the Strongest Candidate on Mental Health Care, the fact that psychiatry was founded to suppress labor organizing, the fact that I tried to bring up these arguments to my clinical psych professor and she altogether dismissed them, dismissing my arguments as a straw man fallacy instead of taking my disilussionment with psychology seriously and helping me to refine my critical perspectives, ego,