the fact that it constantly feels like I have something to do, google keep, Google drive, Google docs, google sheets, Gmail, Asana, to do list apps, Bullet Journal, responding to texts, calling friends, calling family, spending time with people, feeding myself, drinking water, using the bathroom, brushing my teeth, exercising, meditation, apply for jobs, the fact that i really shouldn't be looking at job search sites at night, the fact that it's no wonder that i have insomnia, writing, mental health, therapy, news & journalism, nonprofit & philanthropy, Against Productivity in a Pandemic, The Slackification of the American Home, the fact that I have to create lists of all my friends or I forget about them, the fact that I don't think this says much about my friendships or the depth of my friendships, the fact that I think it's reflective of the times we live in, distraction, anxiety, dissociation, the fact that I wasn't meant to remember so many things, the fact that I can barely remember all of my daily tasks or essential life maintenance activities and to do that I need a planner, the fact that we were meant to live lives of necessity, the fact that we aren't meant to live lives of anxiety and planning, virtual realities, the fact that my friends are mostly virtual in this moment, none of them are in front of me, none of them are within earshot, I can't touch any by of them by reaching my hand out or hugging them or hear their laughter or see their smile or the clothes they're wearing, they essentially don't exist, the present moment, campus life, bumping into people, the deece, drunk deece, the fact that i wrote this before covid19, social distancing, quarantine,